First, a few photos. Then, if you're up for it, a bit of a melancholy blog post.




Sweet baby 'Nee.




A lovely dress that Jeanette Gretsch made for Marie. She also made a matching one for Renee. So special.




William, Renee and Marie watching an early morning cartoon together. No, I don't typically let Renee watch TV, but this just happened to be a cute photo op.




Playing with water balloons with some friends in our front yard.




Sisters.



I'm not trying to be over-dramatic here, but I thought I'd share this - and I can't sleep. This afternoon I went for a run, and this song started playing on the iPod. I completely lost it. I was bawling my eyes out, attempting to walk/run down Lake Pine.
*You can hear the song if you turn up the volume on your computer. There is a playlist at the bottom of the page, just click on the first song - "Faith My Eyes" by Caedmon's Call.


I think it really hit me because in the 4 years that Joel and I have been married, there have been so many times that we have just desperately missed and longed to be near our families. My husband is not an emotional man, but I have seen his heart on his sleeve a few times over the past several years and I know that he has wondered why God has put us where He has. I know it hurts him to be away from his siblings and parents. A family like his, with four siblings and parents who all love the Lord, is such a rare treasure.

Right now was not one of those times where we were longing to move to the Midwest. Not that we don't both miss our families and want to be a bigger part of their lives, but we have been happy here in North Carolina. We have made some amazing friends whom we share life with. Marie is making friends, too. It's really neat to watch her learn to play and share and love people.

I think this is why God is moving us now. Because this is not one of those times during which we think that moving to Minnesota is going to make our life so much better. We love our friends and love our life here. We know that in MN raising our children will still provide daily challenges, Maggie will still have occasional attitude-flare-ups (who, me?), Joel's job is not going to be stress-free, and we're going to have to make new friendships with people who probably won't be as cool as the ones we have here. It's just not possible, right? Heehee.

For the record, Joel was not looking for a transfer. He happened upon the Minneapolis job when he was searching for a different job that he had applied for in Cary (to see if the posting had closed) - otherwise he never would have seen it, or applied. We're both just kind of dumbfounded right now. God definitely has plans and is making it very apparent that He is in control of our life.

I think this song just reminded me of all of those times I mentioned before, during which we've felt lonely/sad/confused starting over in new places, hundreds and hundreds of miles away from our families. Maybe even a little (or a lot) frustrated with God during some of our lower points. We've had countless conversations about how and when we might move "home" and what that would look like. And countless other times where we've not allowed ourselves to have these thoughts, because it just seemed so far-fetched. Now He has done this in his own timing; not ours. And although we're both hopeful that we will be in MN for a long time, and eager to share more life with our families, we are also thankful for where we have been the past 4 years and the friends and experiences we have had. So unbelievably thankful.

Wow, this turned out to be a bit dramatic. But oh well. I'm in a dramatic mood. I reserve that right as a female :-)


"Faith My Eyes", by Caedmon's Call

As I survey the ground for ants
Looking for a place to sit and read
I'm reminded of the streets of my hometown
How they're much like this concrete that's warm beneath my feet

And how I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face
With a touch of my father just up around the eyes
And the sound of my brother's laugh
But more wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives

But if I must go
Things I trust will be better off without me
But I don't want to know
Life is better off a mystery

So keep'em coming these lines on the road
And keep me responsible be it a light or heavy load
And keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes

Hometown weather is on TV
I imagine the lives of the people living there
And I'm curious if they imagine me
Cause they just wanna leave; I wish that I could stay

But I get turned around
I mistake some happiness for blessing
But I'm blessed as the poor
Still I judge success by how I'm dressing

So I'll sing a song of my hometown
I'll breathe the air and walk the streets
Maybe find a place to sit and read
And the ants are welcome company

And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes